I wouldn’t rewrite my life for anything, but I wish I could sit down and chat with a past self and see how I’ve changed. I guess because a lot is changing again.
This came to mind today when I visited my friend Ashley up in the city. She recommended a movie called “Before Sunset” to me again after watching it recently and loving it. She has explained how clever it is, how I’d love it because it’s like a journey made through conversation. (I’ll almost definitely adore it.) This past month, though, Ashley realized she had already seen the movie, five years ago in freshman year. She had even written about it in a diary… particularly about how incomprehensible and ridiculous it was! We cracked up at the now-versus-then comparison. There’s the evidence in writing that time has passed and MY, oh my, how we can change.
Then, on my Bart train back home, I overheard three girls chatting behind me. “Costa” is the word I heard first. My old Mira Costa High School, I wondered? Nah. So I half tuned out and back in to my book, but lo and behold came more familiar key words: senior prom at the aquarium, a string of familiar names in conjunction, some last names and what they were up to. The whole thing was so random I couldn’t believe it. The thought of turning my head to make an in-person connection crossed my mind, but it registered that I didn’t want to. I wondered who the girls were and what brought them to the Bay, but their chat turned to DUIs and parties in Las Vegas penthouses – foreign things to me, honestly – and I realized there was little connection to make. Nevertheless, I walked off of the train a bit shell-shocked about this semi-confrontation with the past.
This whole week has been a deluge of phases coming and going. Last Sunday, I submitted my UK visa application for grad school starting next month; on Tuesday, Melanie and I went to a Taylor Swift concert with tickets we bought nine months ago; on Wednesday, I began training the new intern replacing me at work; Friday was my last day at the PR agency, and also the last day of my third internship in the last 12 months, which is a totallytotallytotally preposterous fact.
When it rains, it pours. This week is the first time that phrase has come organically to mind. When it rains, it pours. It’s like all of life’s timelines are smashing together or accelerating right now. I’m trying to stay calm. Or, as my mom advises, “Keep calm and rock on.” (Mom, you’re just the greatest.)
Also, my fave radio station has been running a Back to Old School Weekend. See below, the song that always brings me back to that one lunch period at Mira Costa sophomore year by the locker halls, when my old friend Will asked me: “What? You haven’t heard Death Cab yet??” And I think Death Cab remains my favorite band today – one thing that hasn’t changed.